Home with a Heavy Heart

As I type this, I am sitting in the DC airport waiting to fly home to Nashville. I never dreamed leaving Ethiopia would be as hard as it was. I have loved many places I have gone and I have felt twinges of sadness many times before as I left those places. But this time was different - I felt like I was leaving a place that felt very much at home to me. I hadn't expected that. I loved the people, the ministries, the country and one little boy in particular that I cannot get out of my head. I can't post any pictures of him or any of the kids at that orphanage unless it doesn't show their face - like the picture I posted where I'm holding him - you can't see his face so that one is ok. But out of respect for privacy of the kids and the families who are adopting many of them - you can't post pictures online of them. Which I totally respect and understand. But I am thankful they still let us take pictures for us to have for our personal use. I am cherishing all the photos and videos I got of that little boy. I've been praying, thinking, praying and talking with team members about him. As soon as we landed today, I felt a sense of urgency to do something - to contact the adoption agency, to start fundraising, start the process and just move forward while asking God to either open or close doors. If this is meant to be, I just trust God will open doors wide open. And if not, I will just be praying God has a wonderful family for him. I so want him to have a forever family. I wish you could have seen how snuggly he was, how cute he was when he was wearing my sunglasses and trying to put them on me and giggling. The first day I got there - I picked him up and he immediately put his head on my shoulder. I know he probably has done that with others before cause he is a snuggler but I have had other kids snuggle up with me but this time - I just started welling up with tears almost immediately. It was instant love. I wish I could describe it better than that. We did get to go back a second time to see those kids. We went and bought formula and took about 20 cans to Restoration and to Korah. We got to stay for about an hour at Restoration and I got tons of pictures and video of him and just loved on him so much. It was so funny - he was wearing a pink shirt and mix-matched socks. I had a David & Goliath book with me and I got to flip through it with him. And he got a kick out of playing with and putting on my sunglasses. It was so great to see him again but even harder to leave the second time. I was crying when I walked out of there. Thankfully this time he wasn't though cause he was playing with toys when I left. He was cutely waiving at me as I walked out. I left a huge chunk of my heart there.