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I got home from Haiti very late last night after an almost 11 hour layover in Miami. Travel time to Haiti is usually pretty short but with such a long layover in the MIA airport - it felt more like a trip to Africa. But one of the other team members, Jen, was with me for 8 of those hours and it went by surprisingly fast. We had internet so we uploaded all our pictures and got to just hang out, call family, eat lunch, etc. Lynelle had a few hours so she had lunch with us and we all got to talking about family, upbringing and we were surprised how similar our stories are. It's neat to see the redeeming work God does and how He always works things together for the good of those who love Him. He turned some of our childhood hurts into a passion to help other kids and wala - all these years later, here we are together serving on the mission fields - loving on these precious little ones in Haiti. God is so good!

I picked up my sweet dog this morning and she was so excited to see me - she couldn't contain herself and she was jumping wildly. I'm covered in scratches but I don't even care. I was equally as excited to see her. I love that fur-child so much! I missed her like crazy and because of that, I was more excited than usual to come home. With past trips, I didn't really even think much about home and it was definitely not difficult to leave to go. But as I mentioned in my blog post before I left, I think it's supposed to be hard to leave, it's supposed to be a sacrifice to go. I kept thinking about Auty on this trip. And everytime I missed her, I kept thinking about all these sweet kids who don't have what my dog has - a forever home. They don't have a mom to love on them every day. My dog is more fortunate than millions of children around the world. And so, Auty and I made a 10 day sacrifice so I could go love on some sweet kiddos and remind them that God loves them and so do I! I had a great opportunity to share this with the kids at Well Being on our last day there. The team was sitting around the circle holding several kids on there laps as I told them God had a plan for them. The team was crying. The kids were nodding. And I was smiling because I was happy to be able to tell them this. But not happy to say goodbye a few hours later. It's hard saying goodbye and leaving them not knowing exactly what will happen to them, or when their next meal will be. Although with Well Being, we knew they would have many next meals because we bought them enough food to last for at least several weeks, if not more. We got them a tarp for the tent where these 30 kids rest their heads and left there knowing they wouldn't have to get up in the middle of the night next time it rained to bail water out. At least for a little while - until that tarp wears out in the heat of the sun and that supply of food runs out. It gives me great peace knowing this church in NJ is going to be helping them longterm and I am so excited to have been able to be there when they told the woman who cares for the kids about their plans to help. I look forward to seeing the positive change that will come. And as I continue reading When Helping Hurts - I look forward to seeing a plan come together that doesn't hurt Well Being but empowers them to help themselves, to learn, to change their communities and their country. I love Compassions model for holistic development and I pray this orphanage model will be very much like that.  We want to help but we don't want to hurt in trying to do so. And there's a very delicate balance in doing so. You have to understand that people will feel worthless if they are always getting a handout. But if they get to take part in the change that's happening - they feel valued and hopeful. And that's what we want for Louizanne and all the children and helpers at Well Being. We went and we met some temporary needs but we didn't fix the longterm problems. But with the Lord's help, we can come alongside Well Being and build something amazing that has a lasting impact far into the future. 

Our last day in Haiti, we traveled to Thomazeau to an amazing orphanage called Children of Hope. A guy name Bobby and his lovely wife do a beautiful job loving and caring for 45 children there. Bobby is a hard worker with a huge heart - not just for kids but for people in general. He took us on a little hike behind the orphanage into the village and showed us several homes he built for people in need. Why? Because they needed a home and he had the means to help. He said he doesn't ask for anything in return, there are no stipulations - it's a gift for them to do with as they wish. One was a family of 13 that was living in a very, very tiny rundown place. He built a home next to it so now they have a nice home to sleep in and they still have the other home to use too. Another is for a 80+ year old widow who was living in a little shack. He built her a nice but smaller home than the others - because he didn't want it to be more than she could manage. A friend of hers lives there too and helps her. There's another family of 8 who are sleeping in a rented one room shack that he wants to help next. They own a small piece of land nearby but have no money to build so they rent this tiny room. The two twin beds are up on bricks because several of them have to sleep underneath on the floor. I can see why he wants to help them. He presents the need to various ministries and whoever wants to take hold of the project helps raise $5000 and he builds them a home. I would love to be able to do something like that for a Visiting Orphans team in the future. We could have a team raise the money and then come down and do the manual labor to help Bobby build it. I will definitely be thinking about this option. 

The kids at a Children of Hope are joyful, well cared for and you can just see a different light in their eyes. Bobby and his wife are lovely people inside and out! They have staff that help care for the kids, cook, etc. And the kids each have their own bed. A new dorm for the boys was built last fall, as well as several school buildings where all the kids go to school and many of the neighborhood kids do as well. Anytime they have more than they need, Bobby takes the extra to families up in the mountains. He helps several families and has built some homes up there too. Surely, some of the clothes and school supplies we've brought on past trips have gone to families in the mountains. I wish all orphanage directors were like Bobby. He doesn't take the credit - he says it's all the Lord. After years of living in the states, he said the Lord called him back to Haiti to help. It was a great way for our team to end our trip - to be encouraged to see what an orphanage can be with the right model, resources and caring individuals who love the Lord and are daily seeking Him and doing exactly what Jesus called us to do - to care for his little ones. I pray the other orphanages we work with will get to the state of Children of Hope. The name says it all - that's what we see that's different there - there's hope. The kids there see a future and they have hope for what God has in store for them. And I love going there and seeing that. I don't leave sad - I leave happy knowing those kids are well cared for. And I leave with hope that we can somehow be used by the Lord to bring that same hope into the other 2 orphanages in Haiti and all the ones we work with in other countries too. We don't just want children to have a place to sleep and food to eat. We want them to have a HOME. And I think we all know there's a big difference between the two. Children who have a home, have a security in knowing that's their home and that they don't have to worry about it. They can be kids. They can play. And they can smile and laugh and not be afraid they won't have another meal or they will lose their home. It's a cruel world we live in. A fallen world. And when we go to places like Haiti, our hearts are broken, our eyes are opened and the bubble of our little world back in the US bursts. And it hurts but it's that hurt that propels us to do something more. To not just go back to life as usual. To not get discouraged but to hold onto the hope that things can be changed with the Lord's help. Lord - give me wisdom to take the steps you tell me to take and to wait when you tell me to wait and to always trust that you have a plan and no matter how bleak this world can seem, our hope is always in You! Lord bless the kids in Haiti and guide Visiting Orphans as we continue to send teams to go and be your hands and feet. - Amen