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Sunday, April 4, 2010
Celebration
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Saturday, April 3, 2010
Preparing My Heart
I just watched a video on youtube that my co-worker posted about a family that just adopted 4 kids from Ethiopia. I sat here watching with tears just pouring out. I don't remember ever just bursting out crying as often as I have lately - since I went to Costa Rica. On Compassion trips, when you meet your sponsored child - you know you'll still write to them and you know they are being taken care of, provided for, given a hope and a future - through Compassion and the local church. You leave feeling uplifted and purposeful. You go thinking it's to encourage your sponsored kid and in turn - you end up being the one encouraged. And I came home from that trip with 2 more sponsored kids and later sponsored 3 more and became a volunteer. It wasn't hard to leave. I met my kids family and they were poor financially but rich in love. And I knew he was in good hands and a loving home. I wasn't sad to leave. It was different on this trip to Costa Rica. I fell in love with kids that I don't know if I will get to see or talk to again. I don't know where they'll end up or what will happen to them. Knowing their stories and seeing their smiles yet also seeing the pain behind those smiles - it's heart wrenching. It's a different kind of purpose on a trip like this - it's going in to the dark and bringing light. It's loving kids that may not know what that feels like and may not even know how to receive it. It's knowingly walking into a situation that you know is going to be emotional and painful and heartbreaking - but it's so not about me - cause if it were - I wouldn't go and keep having my heart broken like that. But I'm compelled to go by a father who loves me and loves these kids - even more than I do. And I want them to know that love. It breaks my heart to go - because it should. And I fully expect it to happen in China too. And that's why my heart is heavy tonight. I know that I will fall in love with these children. I know that I will laugh and play and have fun with them. I know I will make new friends with the team that's going and I know I will be glad that I went. But I also know that it will be hard to leave and I will leave part of my heart behind. So I sit here tonight and prepare, pray and ask God to give me and the rest of the team the strength we need. And He will cause He's the one who has called us to go. He has gone before us and prepared the way. And through Christ, I can do all things!
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Wednesday, March 31, 2010
China, here I come
I think I have figured out how to email myself at blogger which will update my blog and also update to facebook at the same time. So this is sort of my little test to see if it works. If this works, it'll be fabulous.
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I leave for China on Sunday so... stay tuned for updates. I cannot wait to meet the kids, experience a new culture and get to know the team that is going. I'm so blessed to have a job where I get to go around the world and love on kids. I'm not a mother but... I get to be a mom to kids around the world. What an honor and privilege.
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Monday, March 29, 2010
Here I am Lord - send me!
I returned from my first Visiting Orphans trip Wednesday, March 10 very late in the evening. Myself and 9 others spent 8 days in Costa Rica. It was the first time VO had gone to Costa Rica and thanks to the help of an in-country guide named Brian Benson at Infinite Forest, a fabulous bus driver named Bellisario who navigated on the crazy bumpy roads and kept us safe and an amazing team of people from Nashville – it went incredibly smooth. Brian was amazing – so energetic and had every detail covered. Since it was my first time leading a team – he made my job so easy. What a huge blessing. Plus the kids really loved him and it was great to have an additional guy on our orphanage visits since there were so many boys at the orphanages. I know this trip impacted Brian as it was his first time planning a trip that involved orphanages. And I definitely know it impacted all of us. Each person on our team was a Godsend. It was so neat to see how the Lord so perfectly orchestrated this group. Everyone added something wonderful and unique. Each team member was a joy to be around and an honor to serve alongside. To see them interact with the kids was so wonderful – what loving hearts they each have. It was an amazing time. And the kids… wow – I fell in love with them. Each one of them is a gift – a precious beautiful creation – I saw God in each one of them. And I will never be the same. I left a piece of my heart in Costa Rica with them.
I feel personally impacted by this trip in a huge way. So much so that I literally bawled my eyes out last night. I came back Wed night and went to work the next morning and of course, was playing catch up for 2 days on all the emails I’d missed. Last night was the first free time I had. I ended up hanging out with my amazing friends from church and we ended up worshiping together for almost 2 hours. It was so much what I needed and the Lord so ministered to my heart as I cried out to him in worship. I just let it all out – all the emotions I’d been holding in for the past few days. It’s emotional to go and fall in love with children and then have to leave them. A huge part of me wanted to stay and take care of and love them. They so desperately need that love. They deserve that kind of love. And it’s so much a part of me to want to give that to them. It broke my heart to see all these children without loving parents to care for them. Many of them have parents still living but they have abandoned them. Others had gotten the kids taken away for neglect or issues with drugs. The little boy I got the most attached to – 2 year old Ariel – him and his 4 older siblings have been taken away from their mom multiple times. We were told that the last time someone had called police because they were home alone. I don’t know for how long – whether it was hours or days – but I cannot imagine leaving children to fend for themselves like that. Especially with a 2 year old in the house. I could tell by the way these kids interacted that they are used to taking care of themselves and being on their own. I know it breaks Gods heart that His children are not being cared for the way they need to be. And it breaks mine. That Christian song that says, “break my heart for what breaks yours…” became fully alive for me on this trip. My heart still feels burdened, broken, like part of it has been ripped out. And you know what – as much as it hurts and is hard and brings me to tears – I want to feel that way because if I get so numb to the injustice in the world that I no longer feel this way – that would be unthinkable. I want God to break my heart because it’s in that pain that he reminds me why I do this and he deepens the desire and passion within me to do more, to make a difference, to change lives. It also reminds me that God has put adoption on my heart. Sometimes I feel impatient that I’m not in the place yet where I can do that. But I am reminded that His promises are true and I know He put that desire in me and when the time is right – He will fulfill it. But in the meantime, I get the honor and privilege to go and be His hands and feet and love on kids all around the world. That’s a desire He put in my heart several years ago and it is amazing to me how He has orchestrated every detail for me to get to this place. Even down to what could have been a bad thing – losing my job last October. I am in awe at how faithfully He has provided during the in-between time and how I now am working for Visiting Orphans doing the thing I am most passionate about in the world – loving on children. How amazing is our God! I’m getting all teary just writing about it. And you know, I know how much God loves me and I definitely know how much He loves these children. He loves them even more than I do and so in theses times of feeling broken at having gone and loved and having to leave – I know that He has them and He loves them. And I will keep praying for them to have loving families and that no matter what – they will fully experience the awesome love of our creator.
In Costa Rica, on the last day we spent at each of the two orphanages near Limon, we gathered all the kids together and told them about Jesus using an awesome tool called an Evangicube (great for kids btw). Our amazing translator Susana did a wonderful job telling the story in Spanish. It was so much better to have her do it rather than one of us and then have to pause for translation. Plus she added so much to what we had shared with her that we’d like to tell them. She called them each out by name and told them by name that Jesus loved them. She asked questions and kept their attention. She even made them laugh by asking them questions about Jesus’ life here on earth. She said things like “did Jesus kill people?” and all the kids laughed and shouted out “no”. They knew enough about Jesus to know that He is kind and loving and that the things she was asking were absurd. It was so neat to seem them engaged like that. I loved seeing how hungry they were for even more of this good news. Several of the boys were really interested and asked a lot of questions and gave a lot of answers to her questions. We had her tell them that the reason we came all this way was to tell them about Jesus and even though we had to go, we would still be praying for them. We told them that they could pray to Jesus anytime and He would always listen. And that He was their father in heaven who would never leave them. One of the girls on our team shared a personal story about how her dad had left when she was a kid and that someone had told her about Jesus and that changed her life. Several of the kids came up to her and the translator afterwards and asked more questions about that – they were definitely listening and very interested - I really feel like the Lord had wanted her to share that story because so many of them are experiencing that same kind of abandonment by their parents.
It is hard to leave and come home after a trip like this. But there are kids around the world that need the love we can give and the message we bring – the good news that Jesus is their father in heaven who will NEVER leave or forsake them. And through us – they can get a glimpse into the love of the father. And what a huge responsibility and privilege it is to be that representative for the most-high King!!! I’m not qualified for this job and I don’t have a long list of experience but I’m willing to go – and that’s really all the Lord asks. So I say “Here I am Lord – send me.” What about you? Where is He calling you? And will you be willing to go? I hope you will because it’s in that willingness that you get outside your comfort zone and you truly experience God in a way you could have never imagined. Your life will be changed forever. You can never be the same. But don’t worry – you won’t want to be.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I left my heart behind today
Today was wonderful and hard at the same time. We had a great time playing with the kids at Coco's orphanage. They really warmed up to us even moreso today since they had gotten to know us a bit more. We painted faces, did puffy paints on t-shirts, the guys played soccer with some of the older kids and I got to stack blocks with little Ariel - the little boy I wrote about yesterday. He was so much more comfortable and less shy today than he was at the beach yesterday. I think because it was his third time seeing us. I did get to pick him up and wipe the paint off his hands and help feed him some jello. He was having a hard time scooping it out himself cause it was pretty liquidy. It was so cute to interact with him - he's so precious. He walks around a lot with his hands in his mouth and he seems kind of scared in general. I really think based on how he acts and his next oldest sibling acts - there's probably a good chance that there has been some violence in their life. It just breaks my heart to think of the things these kids have been through. Please be praying for all of them that wonderful, loving parents would adopt them. Ariel is 2 and has 4 siblings. There were a handful of other kids there too. One with MS, another who is blind, a baby, a 17 year old and several kids in the 6-9 year old range. Ariel's older brother Antonio was not there the first day we came but he was there yesterday at the beach. Our translator was telling the kids about Jesus today and he was so attentive and interested. He was sitting on the top of the couch and I was standing behind him. I put my hand on his back and didn't know how he would respond. He wrapped his arms around me and put his head on my chest. It was so precious and I just saw how much he so desperately wanted that love. It was so hard to leave them. Every single one of us was crying. Whew - so emotional yet we go into this knowing we'll experience some of this. The Lord indeed breaks our hearts for what breaks His. And we go to share Him with the kids. He is a father to the fatherless. I pray that they heard that message I pray that will stay with them long after we leave. Tomorrow we are going to have our last day at the other orphanage Villas Del Mar. We'll surely have a great time but again - it will be heartbreaking to leave. I just pray we leave the message of Christ when we go and that the kids will fully understand that His love for them is why we came.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My trip to the Dominican Republic with Compassion
How do you summarize a week that was truly life-changing into a few paragraphs?
In fact, how do you even put into words that which you are more passionate about than anything in the world?
I do not know but… this is my attempt to try.
From Oct 5 to 11, 2008 – I was in the Dominican Republic on an International Advocates Conference with Compassion International. It was the first-ever International conference. There were just over 300 advocates gathered for it. For those of you who don’t know – an advocate is someone like me who commits to the cause – in this case – we have committed to speaking out for those who cannot speak for themselves – children. Specifically children who are being ministered to through Compassion International. Compassion is helping children in 26 countries around the world. The bible very specifically says that God’s heart is for the poor and that if we are to follow Jesus – we are to care for the least of these – children. And that is what Compassion does. It is apparent on these trips that Compassion is literally changing lives, communities and countries – one child at a time. It is my passion to do whatever I can to help these little ones. Because even if one child is helped – it is worth it.
In the DR, we had amazing worship led by Graham Kendrick. For me, worship was one of the highlights. There were folks from Australia, New Zealand, Canada, US, Korea, Holland, UK, etc. and all of the staff from the DR – all joined together for one common purpose – Compassion! Worshipping together with brothers and sisters from around the world was uplifting and wonderful – I found myself often looking around the room and thinking “this is what heaven is going to be like, only much bigger!” I met so many of the folks who came and I have to say – it was the most amazing group of people I’ve ever encountered. Hearing the stories of how they began sponsoring children and where that journey has taken them – it was truly encouraging. And it became clear that not only are we helping to change lives but all of our lives have been changed too. We all truly understand that “it is more blessed to give than to receive”.
A good portion of the conference was spent in the hotel – we heard from amazing guest speakers who gave testimonies and encouraged us in what we are doing. We heard from the president of Compassion, Dr. Wess Stafford, and he shared with us the history of Compassion and the future plans and goals. He also shared with us much encouragement and thanked us for giving our time to this ministry. What a humble, compassionate man. We heard from each country represented at the conference and what that particular country is up to in regards to this ministry. And we had breakout sessions on various topics including: How to get into churches, sharing/exchanging ideas, how Compassion works and presenting Compassion. All of the sessions were great – I got so many new ideas that I would have never thought of and I learned a lot about Compassion that I didn’t know. And throughout all of this – I met and got to know a lot of the advocates. I made friends immediately upon arrival in the DR airport with two girls named Katie and Rebekah – both from Canada. None of us had ever met before but the 3 of us were pretty much inseparable throughout the week. It was so awesome getting to know them and sharing with each other the excitement for this ministry. We had lots of laughs and even sang a little karaoke one night in the hotel.
On Wednesday of that week, those of the advocates who had children they sponsored in the DR got to meet them. About half of the advocates had sponsored children they got to meet – many of them had more than 1 child. It was a busy day – with all of us, DR staff, translators and children – there were about 750 people at the hotel. It was a bit chaotic but nevertheless, went over smoothly. I did not have a child in the DR so I signed up to do glitter painting – sponsors brought their kids over to our station and we painted faces and arms with glitter stencils. It was very fun. My friend Katie had her sponsored boy there and it was neat to see them interact. She had a great time with him and he even sang to her. Precious. I took lots of pictures of all the happy children and their sponsors. It was a fun day.
On Thursday evening, LDP students came and sat at each table for dinner. LDP is Compassion's Leadership Development Program that sponsored children can qualify for and if they make it into the program - they have an LDP sponsor and are put through college to get a bachelor degree. This program is amazing - it is truly the fruit of the ministry. To see these men and women be able to go to college and in turn - become leaders in their countries - is awesome! The girl who sat at our table was precious. She thanked us over and over and told us to always be reminded of how much of an impact sponsorship has in their lives. She spoke of her sponsors and how much they mean to her. She even started to cry as she spoke of the loving letters they wrote her over the years and how much she knew that they loved her and believed in her. It was truly a joy meeting her.
Two of the days we did project visits where we broke up into 13 groups and visited the churches that are partnered with Compassion. The project visits are always the most wonderful but also the hardest – because it is there that you see first-hand the living conditions and poverty. But it’s also there that you see hope and joy and get to meet the families that Compassion is helping. At the first project I visited, a lot of the children were not there. But we did meet some of them and were able to interact a bit. I brought some stickers and passed those out – it was a great way to break the language barrier and connect with them. And also to get them to smile. The children love having their photos taken so I got lots of pictures. I spent some time hanging out with a 15 year old boy named JuanLouis and he showed me some programs he uses on the computer. We drew pictures together in a paint program. And we typed some words on the screen and a translator helped us to write the words in Spanish and English. It was neat. He seemed like a really great young man – full of potential and love for the Lord. At this project, we broke up into 5 teams and went to see the homes of some of the sponsored kids. At the home I visited – we talked to a mother and her 3 children. Two of her kids are sponsored and she thanked us for helping children through Compassion and told us how happy they are to have the help of Compassion. Her oldest daughter brought out letters and photos of her sponsors and told us how excited she gets when she receives them and how happy it makes her to know that they love her. She said she hopes to meet them someday. As we walked back to the project, we passed many people and were greeted very warmly.
The second project I visited was on the last full day there – Friday. This project has a CSP – Child Survival Program, as well as the regular Child Sponsorship Program. CSP is a Compassion program that helps mothers who are expecting to learn how to care for their babies and it offers them health check-ups, pre-natal care and once the children are born – it helps them in caring for them up until the children are of age to become part of the Child Sponsorship program. We were able to meet some of the mothers and children in the CSP program – totally adorable little ones. Several babies and toddlers were at the project that day. There were also lots and lots of sponsored kids at the project this day. We toured the project and visited the children in their classrooms. They were all doing art projects, including an art visual of precipitation. We got to interact with them and they showed us their work and poised for lots of pictures. I put stickers on their hands and they gave lots of smiles. We then headed upstairs to the 3rd floor and the children performed many dances for us. Including some young boys who were doing flips and break dancing. That was really cool. It was so much fun dancing with them and playing with them. They are beautiful children. As I looked around the room during the performances at all the children around me – I just kept thinking over and over again “these children are all worth saving!” So many times in the world, children are ignored. I am so honored to be a part of a ministry that is doing something to help them. They are all worth saving. They are ALL full of potential. As one of the guest speakers at the conference said – they are God’s secret agents! These children literally can change the world – they are the future! At this second project, we visited the neighborhood. The home we tried to visit – no one was home. So we just walked around the area a bit and came across a church. The pastor was there and welcomed us in. His daughter is a sponsored child and he spoke of all Compassion has done for his family. The church itself was pretty much outside – you stepped up into a little outdoor area that had like 15 plastic, worn chairs and a makeshift podium. It was hard to believe that was the church but at the same time – it was a good reminder that we don’t need a fancy building to have “church”. We simply need the Lord – and He is there in that church just as much as He is in ours back home. As we came out of the church area – dozens of children were now surrounding us, wanting us to take their pictures, give them handshakes and high-fives. I got tons of pictures of their precious faces. I loved interacting with them and seeing their smiles. In the midst of poverty – there is joy. And where Compassion is, there is hope. And that is why I am a part of this ministry. This is what the Lord has called me to. I don’t do it simply because He has called me though, I do it because it is my heart, my passion. I simply cannot NOT do it – when you’re passionate about something, truly passionate – you speak out, you tell people about, you can’t even help it. And this is that which I want to share with you and with all that I come into contact with. My hope is that you too will sponsor a child and change a life. We often hear the numbers and feel like the little we can do is not enough – but I tell you – it is enough to that one child. It is not only enough, but it is everything – it is giving them a hope and a future. And we know that God has a plan for us all that includes a hope and a future. It starts with these children. 
If you would like to sponsor a child, click on this link: http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm?referer=78604
On this web page, you will see photos of actual children who are in need of a sponsor. Sponsorship is tax-deductible and costs only $32 a month (basically less than a coffee at Starbucks per day). It is a one-on-one sponsorship so the child you choose will only be sponsored by you. You can write to and receive letters from that child. And there is the opportunity to visit him or her too (which I highly recommend). You can search by country, birthdate, age or even by the children who have been waiting the longest for a sponsor.
On this web page, you will see photos of actual children who are in need of a sponsor. Sponsorship is tax-deductible and costs only $32 a month (basically less than a coffee at Starbucks per day). It is a one-on-one sponsorship so the child you choose will only be sponsored by you. You can write to and receive letters from that child. And there is the opportunity to visit him or her too (which I highly recommend). You can search by country, birthdate, age or even by the children who have been waiting the longest for a sponsor.
If you are interested in giving to the Child Survival Program or any of the other programs Compassion offers – there are many ways to give one-time donations too. Visit: http://www.compassion.com for that information.
Friday, August 1, 2008
God speaks in Dreams
This was so awesome - I had to share it. My friend Robin has been thinking about sponsoring a child through Compassion for awhile but didn't want to do so until her husband was on board with it. Anyway, so the other night - she has this dream that her and I are walking in a convenience store and hear a little boy crying. She goes searching for the boy and finds him, picks him up and tries to comfort him while looking for his parents. She doesn't find the parents but she comes across a child packet for him and realizes he's a Compassion child in need of a sponsor. So she wakes up in real life and remembers exactly what the kid was wearing and what he looked like and felt very strongly that this was God's way of telling her she needed to do this. So she told her husband about it and he said that they should do it. So she went online to compassion.com and three pages into it - there he is - the little boy. 6 year old Fernando from El Salvador - wearing the same shirt in the picture that he was wearing in the dream. That is the coolest God moment ever!!! She sponsored him. I'm so excited!! God is so awesome.
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